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Monday, November 28th, 2005
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5:30 pm - pre-christmas cheers
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our block christmas party will be on the 15th, right after the oblation run, the lantern parade and malcolm madness. exchange gift's worth 400. christmas party contribution, probably 200+. watching yvette do her rendition of "o, lumapit ka," - priceless.
i just mailed my wishlist to our block's yahoo group. et regardez:
1. nancy sinatra cd. the one where she collaborated with morissey and pete yorn among others.
2. "diary" by chuck palahniuk. paperback lang, sa fullybooked gateway. 300+ ata, so throw in a couple of meiji blacks na lang to make it 400.
 
3. a metallic gold bag. pero please wag masyado shiny. (ask sharry and anna about the belt incident) 400 bucks sa 168 mall. go with angel's mommy para happy shopping sa divi, di ba?
4. fluffy pillows, which i can use sa dorm. white pillows lang, walang arte basta soft and fluffy, kasi when i do get some sleep, gusto ko sulit! samahan mo na rin ng eye coolers... yung parang mask na nilalagay sa eyes (with gel or something like that inside) for relaxation.
 
5. vanilla parfum from body shop. 550 ata 'to for the 50ml bottle... just ask any of our blockmates to tell me, para dagdagan ko na lang.
6. and of course, there's always the option to set me up on a date with... hehe. birthday ko naman soon, and we all deserve to be happy on our birthdays di ba? (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
current music: "tout doucement" ~ leslie feist
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12:02 pm - soong sister
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saturday night.
"i'm in costume, despite popular opinion."
"yeah, para ka ngang soong sister eh."
anya went, "that's so stupid. he doesn't know what he's talking about."
but who cares? certainly not me. i thought it was rather cute. hah!
and all the while leslie feist, in my head, was going
"tout doux, tout doux, tout doucement
toujours, tout doux, tout doucement
comme ça, la vie je la comprends..."
you know where this is going? nowhere. and not in the jowein-mr. martinez "this is getting us nowhere" kind of nowhere. it's just that i am the most cowardly person in the world, with the heart of a chicken when it comes to things like this. i am in serious like and there isn't a thing i can do but clandestinely blog about it like some raving lunatic.
in any case, when you think about it, this has to be the most fun stage of liking someone. he doesn't know it, and you make it appear like you don't care about him. you stalk him like a crazy spy. you know things about him thru intensive research bordering on criminal. it's very vernonica mars on uppers. i love it.
[p.s. i am not as scary as i appear here.
i don't do anything actively with the information i get, promise!
i am as effective as a made-in-china electric razor.]
current mood:  ditzy
current music: "always on my mind" ~ phantom planet
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| Thursday, November 24th, 2005
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5:19 pm - i swear,
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keep on talking that way and people will never stop mistaking you for a bumbay na intsik.
+++
and when i see you
i really see you upside down
but my brain knows better
it picks you up and turns you around
turns you around
+++
in all fairness to me, i decided that this day will not pass without him seeing my pink and blue ensemble matched with fairy shoes. i walked fast and called him, "hoy, eff-ow-bee." he said a few unintelligible things. and a few more. and a few more.
god, gusto ko sa birthday ko...
current music: "a lack of color" ~ deathcab for cutie
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| Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
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12:04 am - hiatus. volume idunnowhat.
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but this time for real.
i'm going incommunicado for the next month and a half, planning to devote all my time and energy to NOT flunking civpro. five units of pure, unadulterated gore. i remember the juniors at last year's malcolm madness even performing a song about it. a lot of love there.
it's you and me, vicky.
you and me.
+++
bye, everyone.
put your religiosity to work, pray for me.
current music: "parting gift" ~ fiona apple
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| Sunday, November 13th, 2005
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1:25 pm - southern exposure
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before anything else, i just want to say, that us, he and i, we just can't make conversation.
"cha, dsl ka ba?"
gaad. come on.
and i'm no better:
"broadband. ikaw?"
separately, i know we are immensely chatty individuals.
together we're just the merry bores of windsor.
+++
here's my real post:
a day before the semester started, more than half of our block headed south back to the lovely shoreline of calatagan, where the sand is off-white and the water is off-teal.
♥ the beach, before sunset ♥
stupid red glare not my fault!
♥ toasted and loving it ♥
no comment.
♥ ahoy, mate! ♥
L-R: charlene, bodee, miles, ria, angel
♥ sunbathingtoasting ♥
far-near: jas, bodee, ethel, len, miles, cha
+++
i'm sorry about how things look around here. i wish i have time to work on my settings and style, but i really have to go back to studying civil bloody procedure. we are all under serious pressure. but check out the pictures above. it doesn't quite show, does it?
current music: "honey and the moon" ~ joseph arthur
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| Monday, November 7th, 2005
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1:58 pm - under construction
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i'm currently remodelling, so don't go raising your eyebrows at how ridiculous my site looks at the moment. now, i'd want to finish and polish this but i'm gonna have to pack for batangas. i'm off to the beach my pretties, on a pathetic attempt to stretch vacation fun until it snaps and hits my face on wednesday. my black and white reversible bikinis, [courtesy of international woman of mystery, jowein], had been washed and ready for pictures.
so i've to go, and would have to hope that i could update soon.
post script:
yesterday, the F.O.B. asked if i already went to cinemanila. i melted like butter on high heat, said all the wrong, extremely stupid things anyone could possibly come up with and my head was already off to venus when he made the "you're cute" comment. how darling. i must've metaphysically puked all over the place. and then a couple of hours later, an italian chef (with a thick english accent) was telling my future with the wrong hand. i'm not making this up. sometimes i know i do make things up, but i swear, yesterday was at a level of bizaare all on its own.
current mood:  crazy
current music: "easy love" ~ badly drawn boy
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| Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
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7:04 pm - a wong kar-wai affair - encore
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smashing, it was.
people were indeed smashed.
pictures will come out soon.
i just need to do a bit of editing --
snip, snap, kaboom.
i unsuccessfully came as mrs. chow. we should just assume that she had a black and red cheongsam in her closet, and that her hair is not quite as flippy sometimes.
current music: "turn smile shift repeat" ~ phantom planet
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| Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
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7:20 pm - dimsum.. and then some
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okay. so the party has been MOVED to saturday, october 29, to accomodate more people.
please rsvp to me, charlin ton chagrin, if you guys are coming so we can arrange for an entourage to pick you up anywhere in metro manila, parang taxi cab service. or actually, to direct you, armed with our seriously poor direction skills, to jowein's place, if you're driving.
so there. october 29, SATURDAY, 9pm onwards.
there will be nourishment and malnourishment, as you wish.
***
len just texted me:
Paralegal Training Seminar (PLTS) will be on nov. 5-6,
venue TBA.
hah. i cannot wait.
current mood: mush-a-boom!
current music: "You Will. You ?Will.You ?Will.You?Will" ~ bright eyes
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| Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
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5:41 pm - ad music
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i know i've talked about this with most of you, offline, but i really really love lacoste's ad music. naturally, as with things i really, really love (or really, really hate), i googled the songs and artists for both "touch of pink" and the new lacoste "essential" ads.
it turns out, for "touch of pink," the song is "save your kisses for me" or as i call it, "let me show you the way," by this unpopular dane, natasha thomas. it's very vibe-y, this song, really embodies the pink dress, and kite-chasing imagery, i must say. lovely song for mornings when you just wanna sink into the abyss of your bed mattress.
the song for the "essential" ad is "mushaboom" by leslie feist. this one i really like, so i downloaded her whole "let it die" album. amazon says:
Canadian singer Leslie Feist has served as a guest vocalist for Norwegian folkies Kings of Convenience, Toronto power-pop troupe Broken Social Scene, and - under the frightening moniker "Bitch Lap-Lap" - the hairy female rapper Peaches. But her unruly resume hardly prepares you for the emotionally rich, softy sensual music on her major label debut. Moving from tortured torch songs such as "Lonely Lonely" to pulsating originals like "Mushaboom," it also contains stunning remakes of Ron Sexsmith's "Secret Heart" and the Bee Gees' "Inside and Out," tunes Feist not only makes her own but effectively uses to dissect her romantic desolation. "Don't you wish we could forget that kiss?" she smolders on the title track. Not in this lifetime.
kings of convenience? bitch lap-lap? i just gotta have her album, right?
so i did. it's very venus hum, without all the unwanted noise.
***
i'm looking for the song they used in the local palmolive commercial. the one which ends (in the ad) with the line , "you're my sunshine"? searching "hair" and "you're my sunshine" practically adds up to about a hundred million web pages, so i'd appreciate some clarification on the lyrics to make it more searchable.
sigh. i need to make more productive use of my sem break time.
current music: "mushaboom" ~ leslie feist
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| Monday, October 24th, 2005
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4:07 pm - menu-planning
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the fortune cookie recipe has been stripped to its barest essentials and i have found one that would cook in a frying pan. thanks to my dream husband jamie oliver, professional chef, drummer and close friend of jamiroquai's jay kay.
so here's the plan:
three-colored noodles (spinach, carrot, egg)
chicken broth (to go with the noodles)
dimsum (different varieties of siomai and fish/squidballs)
fried tofu
pancit (haven't decided between bihon & canton)
mooncake
tikoy-like emanation desserts
buchi (as per rej)
other chinese delights (straight out of aji ichi ban)
fortune cookies!
chai tea
normal tea (lipton? kankura?)
honey
lots of soy sauce (as per the celebrant)
---
any suggestions? century egg? jelly fish?
by the way, i found out that fortune cookies aren't chinese after all. they were invented by a chinese restaurateur who lived in LA in the 1920s. we're all for authenticity, but hey, who doesn't want fortune cookies just because they're hybrid?
P.S. there IS booze, okay. we're balancing out aesthetics and taste at the moment. i hate beer, but that will not factor in the decision process, don't worry. we'd appreciate your recommendations.
thanks to everyone who's coming and those even remotely considering to come.
see you!
current music: "lame love" ~ julie delpy
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| Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
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6:45 am - PARTY, people
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i got my grade in sales. a whopping DOS. sigh.
---
for those of you who are still scratching your heads in wonder: NO, jowein isn't kidding, there WILL be a party. as a matter of fact, we'll be going to divisoria in about two hours to get party stuff and maybe a chinese boy or two in ongpin. so please, please, please, please, please clear up your schedules for the 28th, this coming Friday my sweets, and come to the party. it'll be at her place: #2(0)4(6), periwinkle street, bf resort village, las pinas city. theme: hong kong 1960's, or anyone of your favorite wong kar-wai character. come in character, learn a couple of mandarin words maybe, or just be plain incomprehensible! you're all invited. gifts are also most welcome, mainly in the form of free-flowing liquor or 5 foot 9 male orients.
remember, we'll be deeply hurt (*tear*), if you don't make it. i mean, this is our first try at gathering up friends and countrymen to an actual, actual party (not counting those galera invites that never really left the drawing board, but most wretchedly turned down nevertheless)!
i'll post directions tonight.
come people!
current mood: yeeee!
current music: "extraordinary machine" ~ fiona apple
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6:21 am - all of the signs said "stop."
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I opened my eyes while you were kissing me once
More than once
And you looked as sincere as a dog
Just as sincere as a dog does,
When it's the food on your lips with which it's in love
I bet you could never tell
That I knew you didn't know me that well
It is my fault you see
You never learned that much from me
Oh you silly, stupid pastime of mine
You were always good for a rhyme
And from the first to the last time
The signs say “STOP”
But we went on whole-hearted
It ended bad
But I love what we started
They said “STOP”
But we went on whole-hearted
It ended bad
But I love what we started
I took off my glasses
While you were yelling at me once more than once
So as not to see you see me react
Should've put 'em, should've put 'em on again
So I could see you see me sincerely yelling back
I bet your fortressed face
Belied your fort of lace
It is by the grace of me
You never learned what I could see
Oh you silly, stupid pastime of mine
You were always good for a rhyme
And from the first to all the last time
All the signs say “STOP”
But we went on whole-hearted
It ended bad
But I love what we started
They said “STOP”
But we went on whole-hearted
It ended bad
But I love what we started
- “Parting Gift,” Fiona Apple
Can this song be any more accurate?
From the first to all the last time, all of the signs said STOP, but we went on whole-hearted; it ended BAD, but we went on whole-hearted, it ended BAD… ah, but I did love what we started.
Shall we do the whole reminiscing thing all over again? I think not.
[/end]
current mood: fiona mood ano pa nga ba
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| Friday, October 21st, 2005
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6:51 pm - let's cause a scene
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this freedom. all this free time.
"stay, if you wanna love me, stay
oh don't be shy
let's cause a scene
like lovers do
on silver screens
let's make it, yeah,
let's cause a scene..."
***
precious moment unmissed today:
my little brother asking my mom,
"ma, malaki ba si God?"
"anak ka ba niya?"
"sinong asawa niya?"
***
hay. walang magawa. i decided to commit my precious sem break time to the pc, and download all the gooood stuff the cyberspace could offer. geeeeek. and of course, stalk people. geek love.
***
change of mood.
my block friends and i were talking one exhausted break from property review last week about how every single one of our friends are either marrying off or attached like liposuction tubes to their significant others; and how curiously enough, we aren't. of course, there's this minute thing we call lawschool which eats up about 5/6 of our time and space. but then, a significant chunk of lawschool people are happily attached, too. so why not us?
that must be in my top five list of frequently asked-to-self questions. right up there with "why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near." and the answer? there are no answers. i could explode this body off me with a thunderous bjork shout and there would still be no answer. i'd die and be resurrected to the next dalai lama and there wouldn't be any answer.
but loneliness gets to you sometimes, especially on idle times like this. idle hands are loneliness's playground. and you'd find yourself asking the same unanswerable question. it's an exhausting merry-go-round minus the merry (i think i've already said that somewhere). you melt as you walk around into this liquid of grief. it's very poetic, this state.
oh, but you wake up again, calendar days flipping past until suddenly, occupation once more. remember what anais nin said in "children of the albatross"?
"in the world of the dreamer there was solitude: all the exaltations and joy came in he moment of preparation for living. they took place in solitude. but with action came anxiety, and the sense of insuperable effort made to match the dream, and with it came weariness, discouragement, and the flght to solitude again. and in solitude, in the opium den of remembrance, the possibility of pleasure again."
there it is. the whole truth of the matter. but it isn't the answer.
because there is none.
***
well. now i'm bummed. thanks to me.
current music: "get him back" ~ fiona apple
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4:17 pm - come as you aren't!
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| Thursday, October 20th, 2005
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5:14 pm - friendster is such a tricky little bastard.
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happarently, if you opted out of the "see me view your profile" thingie, you won't see who viewed your profile either. this is no fun. now i have to live with the fact that people will see that i check out their profiles. because it's just pure injustice to prevent yourself from flying to the flame. i am a cat, curiosity will kill me, and i welcome it verily.
current music: "tymps (the sick in the head song)" ~ fiona apple
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3:33 pm - but of course, sunflowers are not forever.
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my property law professor loves everything agricultural. he likes to fill us in on the details of proper fertilizer and inner workings of a chicken farm. he says things like... "a heifer is a virgin cow," and "but of course, sunflowers are not forever." the thousands of species of philippine hardwood must have taken a third of our lecture time. all things considered, though -- no daily recitations, no midterms, no written finals, no attendance requirement -- property law under one half of the ed&carmelo tandem would probably be the 4-unit course dream of every law student.
and then there's the oral final exam.
it started after i finished my last written exam on some other subject that reeked of ill-preparedness and cramming. eight p.m. on a friday night, five whole days and some odd sleeping hours before the dreaded afternoon. i imagined it would be akin to our persons midterm orals last year, (which i totally blew.) my stomach was tied in six different knots and i had this constant urge to puke.
i reviewed (and on some parts, viewed for the first time) with such dedication, i almost had an out-of-body experience. i wanted to pat myself in the back, with a big "naks!" i drank a total of six grande seattle's best brewed coffee, one supremo java kula, and an iced latte. ten percent off for each purchase. i milked my VIP card for what it's worth. it's amazing how we measure dedication with how much caffeine we inject into our system.
tuesday night, bisperas. i was reading the case ticklers and understanding nothing. i remember that case with the two widows, and that one about the kitchen, the one with the avocado tree, oh and that one with the suicidal chickens... but nothing else. i've finished writing the required outline -- forty pages of straight, slant, script, kinahid-ng-manok handwriting -- and was going over it for the 26th time, understanding more nothings. it was the kind of futility that should end with hands thrown in the air in disgust. ultimately i quit and slept.
5h30, wednesday bloody morning. music, phantom planet's lonely day. i woke up, woke ethel up, and by 6h30 we were out of her house beating the 7am coding time. after a quick drive-thru over at jollibee and waiting for the college to open, i was lying face down on the winlaw room's sofa, past asleep. just what i imagined i will be doing ten hours before my orals.
it was a deep sleep, i even had a dream. the corridors of malcolm hall were all slippery and i was running. i bumped into f.o.b. who was in this dark robe (like death, himself) and he wished me luck. i nodded and ended up in the strip connecting the college with the law center, which was filled with black nettings, like the ones used by fishermen. i was docking low to be able to pass thru when i saw this boy, a younger version of f.o.b., whom i was so sure was his brother, except that his name was "david uy." this fact i didn't find weird at all. we chatted a bit and i had this smile which i get when somebody i like was sort of hitting on me. i went to the bathroom and saw jan lee, who said that she went out on a date with f.o.b's younger brother, which i naturally one-upped by telling her the whole under the nettings incident. i woke up and immediately told len about the it. she didn't interpret it but observed that my dream was curiously filled with chinese people. (must be jowein's party in my sub-conscious.)
two hours before the exam, i was writing a skeletal version of my outline so i could memorize. classification of property, ownership, accession, co-ownership, possession, usufruct, easement, modes of acquiring ownership, donations, lease... i thought i'm good, i'm done, bring it.
i went in. i picked a topic. NUI-fucking-SANCE.
"what's your topic," sir asked.
my nose wrinkled, i said, "nuisance, sir."
"the topic is a nuisance, eh?"
sir likes to make super pun jokes.
"ok, organize your thoughts, write them down."
he gave me a piece of paper and left.
in my head i was like, "shit, i didn't read nuisance, AT ALL."
i just have the most handsome luck in draw-lots.
the few things i remembered about nuisance at that moment was that 1, it came from the french word "nuire," which means "to annoy," 2, that it's from article 694 (being a freak with numbers that i am), and 3, that we can... abate a nuisance! anna described an "it's all coming back to me" moment and that was what exactly happened to me that time. for my torts and damages final exam, a week and four days ago, i reviewed nuisance. thank God i reviewed hard for torts. i outlined my discussion, definition, classifications, (nuisance per se, nuisance per accidens, private, public), abatement. as al would've said with his blackman accent, "eyaaah!"
after i BS-ed my way out of nuisance, sir made me pick another topic. USUFRUCT. perfect, i know this one. i was well into my discussion on rights and obligations of the usufructuary when sir interrupted me to ask,
"so, what can be considered an ordinary repair?"
"sir, such repairs that were caused by damages from ordinary wear and tear,"
"give me an example."
example, example, example. hmm. sir likes farms.
"sir, for instance, in a farmland.
the irrigation system, when one of its, um, pipes, gets broken,
it would need an ordinary repair."
"ah. have you seen an irrigation system?"
"no, sir, it's just in my imagination."
ehrm.
so he went on a discussion of what an irrigation system looks like.
yes, it has pipes, it needs oil and without it, the farm is basically desert.
"ah, sir, i change my answer. an ordinary repair will be done when for instance, the pipes run out of oil. the usufructuary is liable for the replacement because without it the usufruct will not be used in accordance to its purpose."
he-he-he.
"okay. pick a case."
pakshet. with eyes closed i picked a paper from his tin of cases.
"valderrama v. north sugar central."
"o, what happened in this case?"
"i'm sorry, i know the other north sugar central case sir, but not this one."
"this is about an easement."
"i'm sorry, sir."
"okay, pick another one."
"olviga v. CA."
yes, i know this, i know this, i... don't know this. blank.
"this case involves the widow."
he was desperately trying to help me out.
"sir, were there two widows?"
"no, that's from another case. what's the topic in this case?"
"sir, quieting of title?"
"yes, right, so what happened?"
"sir, the court held that the action is not for reconveyance but one for quieting of title and therefore imprescriptible."
"right. so why is that?"
"um... i don't remember sir."
he sort of laughed. "there are only three cases in quieting of title." the kind of laugh one generates out of hopelessness.
"yes, sir, i remember, olviga, pingol and titong." desperate enumeration. proof that i photographically memorized his outline.
"okay, you pick another case."
sana lang tama na di ba. if he wants me to come back, just say it. end my torture.
"i don't remember versus i don't remember."
fuck talaga.
"o, you don't know?"
"sorry, sir, i can't recall the facts.. nor the ruling..."
"o sige, absolute last one."
please be the suicidal chickens case.
"cebu acetylene v. bercilles... sir, i'm sorry, i don't know this case, either."
i was expecting him to tell me to come back when i know all my cases.
and then like a force majeure, an act of God, free from all mortal intervention nor influence from my puppy dog face, he said,
"okay, you passed. but you could have gotten a higher grade."
the dagger was off my chest. i was like, "no way?!", thanked him and quickly went out of there before he changes his mind. his last words "you could've gotten a higher grade," was echoing in my ears as i was remembering the olviga case on my way out. excellence is just not for me, is it?
but all's well that ends well. there's a rumor that the lowest grade he gives when people pass the first time they took the orals was a 2. and a 2 nowadays is a priceless commodity for the likes of me. i'd love a 2 in property law, like i would an uno in philosophy of science. survival is the name of this game.
i crashed into the nearest bench. sembreak ko na, packing pinally.
but of course, sunflowers aren't forever.
current mood: !!SEMBREAK SEMBREAK SEMBREAK!!
current music: "glamorous indie rock and roll" ~ the killers
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| Saturday, October 15th, 2005
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10:28 pm - au contraire, douglas adams.
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property orals in three days. and i? i know nothing.
PANIC NOW.
current mood: shet shet shet
current music: "all these things i've done" ~ the killers
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| Saturday, October 8th, 2005
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12:15 am - packing pinals
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and it's back to blurty again, this rainy saturday, hour 1 of the 48-hours before my head explode torts and damages review marathon. i'm still kind of hung up on sales, darn mercantile laws, and movable property not being recoverable in case of loss. i detest that. what happened to bloody equity? but that's that, no more taking back blue books and scratching off all answers to put "i hate studying for everyfreakingthing and getting asked only about movable sodding property getting lost!"
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| Friday, September 30th, 2005
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11:18 pm - merde.
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merde, merde, merde!
last login: 24 sodding hours.
he must've seen it.
the person who last viewed his sodding profile,
is noneotherthan sodding me!
merde, merde, merde!!!
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9:46 am
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but the good thing about friendster being evil
is that
i found out
that
some chinese eyes
aren't too small
or pre-occupied
to have a tiny, fleeting glimpse
at me
(or the online me, whatever.)
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9:30 am - friendster is indeed evil.
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watch out. while we are enjoying stalking people's online profiles, slightly grinning at the ridiculousness of life and all that, friendster had thought it supah funn if it'd let users know who viewed their profiles.
meet new people... who viewed your profile.
great!
i panicked naturally. simply because i view some people's profiles on a regular basis. because i am freakish like that, walang pakialamanan. i thought, no, there must be a way out of this brilliant scheme... and whaddyakno, there is! Account settings: View profiles anonymously? Yes, I would like to view profiles anonymously and not show up on other users' "Who's Viewed Me" list. hah. september's ending and all traces of me before anonymity shall be erased completely. i just hope people are too busy to check their friendsters between now and tomorrow. and by people i mean, you, of course.
current music: "lost in time" ~ stellastarr*
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| Sunday, September 25th, 2005
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6:49 am - europe and a lot of things through cinema
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since for some absurd reason, one cannot have one's cake and eat it, too, the free cine europa screening must come with dire consequences. two hours before show time you should line up with all the indie film buffs (at which number i was highly shocked) and get your free ticket or else it's four hours of dilly-dallying along shangri la's up-turned nose of a mall for you. to make things worse, there's nothing to do in shang. it's not makati where you can't help but drool over cheap girly stuff. it's just not my kind of mall.
i arrived four and a half minutes before four at a sold-out ticket booth. i looked around me and there was only unfamiliarity. i walked and walked and walked and saw powerbooks, in its new, chic-ed up look. a bookstore! i'm home! i naturally found myself in the "S" authors, general fiction aisle and looked for Salinger copies. i have every single one of his works but i find comfort just seeing them in a bookstore rack. it's like saying hello to an old friend and re-noticing dimples or birthmarks on his face. i browsed around and ended up in the "P" aisle. palahniunk. for more, je-ne-sais-quoi.
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the film was "liever verliefd (i love to love)," dutch with an american plot and a european ending. anna decided that she'd had it with men after being dumped by her married boyfriend derk the jerk. the day after, she met rob, the muscular guy with a pert ass (her words, not mine). the same night, she met sander, the sensitive, musical guy (and rob's flatmate, which fact she wouldn't know until she has two engagement rings and is hiding under a restaurant table, i.e. too late). the day she swore men off, she gained two. story of some people's lives.
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film festivals could very well be empty, in terms of hopes of bumping into interesting representatives of the species. but i was sitting quite unmindful of my environment when a certain weirdly-shaped figure sat next to me and started chatting, in a kind of hello-stranger manner. i was advised against watching "the buttoners" because apparently, "the first 30 minutes is all you need to get your czech fix, then the next hour would better be spent on a date somewhere!" right. and then came, "why aren't you with your boyfriend? baka may ibang ka-date na yun!"
ay. i did not take the defensive tone this time. i quietly smiled and asked God something in the lines of "God, why me?"
this life is fun.
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current music: "all deliberate speed" ~ mae
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| Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
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5:50 pm - pale september
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Pale september, I wore the time like a dress that year
The autumn days swung soft around me, like cotton on my skin
But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared
My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within
But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full
And sank in the burrows of my keep
And all my armour falling down, in a pile at my feet
And my winter giving way to warm, as I’m singing him to sleep
He goes along just as a water lily
Gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats
Unweighted down by passion or intensity
Yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts
And he finds a home in me
For what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap
And all my armour failing down, in a pile at my feet
And my winter giving way to warm, as I’m singing him to sleep
All my armour falling down, in a pile at my feet
And my winter giving way to warm, as I’m singing him to sleep
:: fiona apple
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| Saturday, September 3rd, 2005
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8:41 am
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these days, i find myself always out of breath. and last night's movie almost killed me. "love me if you dare" (jeux d'enfants) is mad. the narration, the script, the scenes -- everything about it is crazy. try finding yourself lip-locked with someone deep in tons of freshly-mixed concrete. life gets in the way of love, don't you think?
***
diametrically opposite to sophie and julien, i have hotel-ops for the bar exams in less than two hours. i'm thinking i'd rather go mad because of love than go mad because of anything else. that is, at least, poetic. but it is imperative that i die right after.
current music: "violently happy" ~ bjork
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| Friday, August 26th, 2005
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4:34 pm - my dear light
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i was watching fritz lang's "destiny" last night, with cynthia alexander playing live raw tunes in the background. a german was doing the voice-over, his english more german than schwarzwalder. i looked around without turning my head, feeling the artsy-fartsy vibe of fellow enthusiasts around me; i was feeling for your presence -- i thought i could sense you there, your i'm-bohemian-like-you feel.
fritz lang's gray images, silent and moving, moving and silent -- they all take my mind to that place where i'll be singing "spending my days with you is like living in a world of fancy" to you and you'll smile, your eyes will disappear and sing with me, "how often have i been there but it really doesnt matter as long as we're together..."
the story of the three lights all ended up with love denied. i was almost sad, i wish i could have cried. she gave up her life for it was useless without her beloved.
death gave in. she won.
i never remember endings. after the applause, i descended the balcony, bumped into familiar faces, the usual crowd... but not into you. because you must have been sleeping at that hour. or lying on your back watching rockstar inxs. i really don't know.
i hope i cross your mind, my little "groupie" remark.
you'll write again tonight and add to my wonder. and i? i can't wait.
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| Monday, August 22nd, 2005
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11:53 pm - amor fati
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Travis Bickle: One of these days I gotta get myself organizized.
Betsy: Organizized? Don't you mean organized?
Travis: No, organizized.
Betsy: Oh, like that sign that says "Thimk."
- Taxi Driver
I deleted my friendster blog. Just now. Because I hate those email notifications about blog updates. Oh, and I'm somewhere in Katipunan. I declared war and inevitably lost, because apparently, there's a big lesson at the end of this convoluted tunnel and I just can't wait to learn the marvelous reasons behind all these crap I'm wading through.
These days, calendar dates make no sense. Tuesday is torts and property, Wednesday is sales, Thursday is my fucking midterm exam, Friday is crim-pro. It's immaterial if it's the 22nd of August or some time in 2005 when law professors celebrate crush-your-students' brains-to-smithereens month. Hours pass in threes. Minutes no longer exist. In these four imposing stone walls there's no such thing as fifteen minutes before class. If you only have fifteen minutes before your next class starts, abandon all hopes of retaining anything you are cramming into your sorry little brain. You are worthless and you must die. And you will longingly reply with a slow, painful "kill me now" like a good believer in amor fati.
The only things that keep me going nowadays are my daily vendo coffee and the possibility of bumping into a set of disappearing eyes wandering in the hallway connecting 322 and 308.
I'm pretty much the very personification of the Philippine economy right now: sinking, sinking, and looking like hell just turned me down.
current mood: hungerness
current music: that dicta license song
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| Sunday, August 21st, 2005
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1:32 pm - with or without fairies, i'm happy
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N'est-il pas suffisant de contempler un jardin si magnifique
sans avoir à croire en plus que des fées l'habitent?
...
Il est un moment à chaque aube où la lumière est comme en suspens;
un instant magique où tout peut arriver.
La création retient son souffle.
{Le guide du routard galactique}
current mood: parachutes!
current music: orange and lemons fancy songs
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| Saturday, August 20th, 2005
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1:46 pm
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it was a stalker's dream come true.
five hours in a passenger's seat equals a forever freeze in disbelief.
no other music comes to mind
but a david gray ditty and urban dub's 7th song,
both involving the word "sail."
midnight blue sneakers matched midnight blue seat covers.
beady little eyes of a hamster on a skin deprived of melanin
matched blood lacking hemoglobin.
my merchant china man,
you put just the right letters
to make a hollow, muscular organ
throb.
current music: "sail away" ~ david gray
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1:12 pm - small things
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no, i didn't just do that, friends.
yesterday at the children's prisons way up north, where the streets were flooded and the rivers filled with floating garbage, we were three paralegals on a mission. we looked for illegal arrests, illegal detentions, grave abuse of authority. you know how i'm always one parallel universe away from reality? yesterday, i knew i was exactly where i was. it was real, and rivetting, and what we did was very, very tiny. some of the children, as young as 13, have been accused with theft, murder, rape. questioning them, making them re-tell their stories with the only assurance that we will look into their cases not even the promise that they WILL be free someday -- was a miniscule speck of hope in their monstrous reality.
it's both sad and chilling to realize these things. i'm taking up the law on criminal procedure, with my snotty bookstand and commentary textbook, thinking that those rules were just black letters -- but i saw, as i did yesterday, that they could mean a child's life, supposedly spent in art classes and ice cream shops, in a cold, flooded cell up north.
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| Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
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7:13 pm - on blind dates and wall-climbing on a school night
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i was out on one of those set-you-up kind of things this afternoon with my blockmate's (itago natin siya sa pangalang sharry) friend. we had cake at chocolate kiss and 6 of my blockmates were over at oz for moral support and espionage (and emergency rescue if ever). he was fine, though, in an older brother way. we talked nonstop for an hour or so after which i had to rudely excuse myself (as we had wall-climbing scheduled at 3). [sharry said, he apparently had fun with me because i knew that blueberries had anti-oxidants]
back at malcolm hall we met up with the rest of the recently ordained athletic team of block D and proceeded to power up, tandang sora. miles brought her cousin of much cuteness and tallness to go climbing with us. and all the while i was thinking, two nice boys in one day isn't too bad.
i learned that "belay me then i'll belay you" is the ultimate test in trust. al let go of my rope and i swung from end to end in a dangerously far distance from the wall, and for that i did the same to him. good, nervous fun. and of course moves were made towards the general direction of the stateside cousin, who was very, very nice to belay me up one of the more difficult walls with the corresponding applause when i made it to the top. i therefore conclude that athleticism (?) rather than klutz-ness works better (and you won't feel a tinge of shame after).
oh and i saw "art," the person, not the concept. i think he was one of the trainors.
all these while my favorite oriental was texting me about our gig on friday. i then gathered the day's hunting season vibe and asked:
"ok, sabay na lang ako sayo?"
he did say yes. and i did blush crimson after.
sigh. and i have torts and damages class in less than fifteen hours.
how very ma'am edlyn jimenez of me.
current mood: pete yorn talaga.
current music: "just another girl" ~ pete yorn
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